When Alexia and Devan where little guys I remember one morning in particular... we were headed out the door and it was taking forever! For those of you with kids you know what I mean, no one can find their shoes, someone pooped their pants right as we were walking out the door.....As I laid them down to change them real quick I remember feeling so frustrated about this comedy of errors. I was a pro at changing diapers so it didn't take long and we were on our way. As we pulled out of the neighborhood and headed up the street we came upon a very serious accident that had clearly just happened. The thought came to me loud and clear..."Do you see why I had to slow you down today! I had to protect you and your babies! I had to keep you safe!" That moment humbled me so much, it also taught me that when it seems like something so bad and frustrating is going on it just might be moving you in a different direction. So now on to the brain scan..... Let me explain a few things first. I only finished Brain radiation 3 weeks ago. Radiation continues to work on the body for 4-6 weeks post your last treatment. Meaning the side effects continue and in some cases get worse. But this is also why they don't do scans until 6 weeks after in-order to get more accurate results. So why did I get one at 3 weeks? Because I have great Doctors that know how badly I wanted to go on my daughters Senior trip that we had been planning and paying for for over a year. The deal was if there was no swelling or hemorrhaging I would be clear to fly over seas to Paris and Barcelona! At their advice we set up for my amazing best friend to come on the trip with me for added support. We just had to wait for the green light. First thing this morning I went in for my Brain MRI. Then by 10:30 I was headed in to see the Amazing Dr. Herman! He came in and explained that all 13 tumors were still there and unchanged, there were some that appeared bigger but that could be due to inflammation. Not too discouraging because I was only 3 weeks out. Now the good news... no signs of any new brain tumors! And the not so great news there is a lot of swelling in my left front temporal lobe and hemorrhaging. There it was, no Europe. While I continued to talk with the Dr. I realized that Cameron was behind me crying. (He knew this had always been a dream of mine and he was so sad to see this happen) When I turned to console him the Dr. said to me, "You knew didn't you?" Yes I did. This whole time I have fought, I did all the treatments, I bought a new suitcase and clothes for Europe! But since Saturday I have not been doing good. I tried to chalk it up to just finishing Radiation on my lungs. But soon it was clear that some of this was definitely my brain. My legs and arms seem to weigh 500lbs. I constantly feel like someone is pushing me to the right. Head aches, extreme pressure in my brain. The list goes on. But the thing is about 3 days ago that same voice that said "Do you see why I had to slow you down" came back with "I'm so sorry but your not going to Europe, it's not safe for you" Yet again I was being both prepared and protected. What's next... I was immediately put back on the steroids for the next 6 weeks and then re-scan for the MRI to see if the radiation did anything to the tumors. Keytruda has been put on hold again so long as my brain is swollen. Although I am sad, I know this is for the best. I called Alexia during her lay over in Florida to let her know the news. She was very understanding. This is a school trip that she will have friends and chaperones on so she will still be able to go. Thank you all for your prayers! Don't think for one second they are not being answered! Remember it is always His will be done, not ours. We have no way of knowing how we are being protected, and what amazing things are being prepared for us! Since I am currently spending so much time in bed I thought it would be fun to do some ask Michelle Blogs. You can ask me anything! If you want to be Anonymous you can directly comment to this blog post as anonymous. Or you can reply on the Instagram or Facebook posts with your questions. I'm looking forward to hearing from you! PS. I have to give some shout outs to some Incredible People that made my anniversary Super Magical....I'm sure there might be more but here is who I know about: Dream team member Becky Forse, Landon's Swim team Mom Janis Page, The Archer Hotel here in Austin, Lush, Paul Martins, and Mad Mikes Cakes here in Austin (What that man can do with cake is unreal!) Do me a favor and if you can go support those businesses! The generosity from them has been amazing! And Now for your Dance Party! Enjoy!
12 Comments
Jason Christensen
6/20/2018 08:59:25 pm
Michelle, I’ve been following your situation for a while and have yet to finish a post with a dry eye. I truly admire you, Cameron, and your family and am grateful to know people as amazing as you. I wish I could say something comforting here but it’s you that has comforted me- thank you for your beautiful example of goodness and gratitude. You and your family are in my prayers always.
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Diane Vanlandingham
6/20/2018 09:11:30 pm
Michelle
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Buffy
6/20/2018 09:35:02 pm
I’m just gonna say it...that totally sucks!
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V
6/20/2018 09:44:34 pm
You constantly amaze me with your perspective and outlook despite those crazy tumors. I am so sad you can’t make this trip with your daughter. I am sure she will be taking you with her somehow virtually. Lots of WiFi in Europe. Gentle hugs.
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Sophie Z.
6/20/2018 09:52:13 pm
Michelle,
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Alisha
6/21/2018 12:53:40 am
Let’s see...a question:
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Aisha T
6/21/2018 06:25:36 am
Hi Michelle,
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Renee Moreland
6/21/2018 08:55:52 am
I am a Dragonette mom to Amanda. I love your extreme faith in our all knowing and loving God. So many wonderful and awesome plans He has for you. This suffering is temporary and I encourage you to carry on the fight! I did not go to Hawaii with the girls this past spring. I don't know if I ever will. It's always been a dream of mine to go. I know this trip meant a lot to you and I am so sorry about that. I often joke that God will show me Hawaii before he takes me to Paradise. I know that if you never go to Europe He could do the same for you..:). Much love, and keep speaking boldy and often of Him.
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Brenda
7/8/2018 05:52:06 pm
Michelle,
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Sandra
7/23/2018 04:21:01 pm
You give me the strength to keep up my fight. You are truly an amazing angel
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Rk
7/27/2018 03:15:54 pm
Michelle, you are simply amazing. Your perspective on life is very inspiring. You make me see life differently everytime I read your posts and blog. Your courage in the face of it all is unseen. ..your big heart and love for the people and things that matter in life may makes me look at my life again and again. Your love for God is hinged solid and you just ready whenever he will be ready for you. You have touched so many life's,please continue. From Nairobi Kenya ...God bless you and your family.
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10/15/2022 08:38:25 pm
Debate discover some sort. Help or history carry painting suffer night.
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My name is Michelle Kaley but I have many other names.....Daughter, Sister, Wife of 20 years to my High School Sweetheart, Mom to my 4 Beautiful Children, Ms. Michelle to my hundreds of Students, and as of 2016 Cancer Patient was added to the list. Archives
March 2019
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