The Joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives - Russel m. Nelson
NO More Dead Gold Fish!! Now that is something to rejoice about!
Ok, I should explain....during radiation when it hits my sensory nerves it causes my brain to smell an overwhelming smell of dead gold fish in a bowl. Its was awful, I tried essential oils, and gum to block the smell but because it was in my brain there was not much I could do. But we are done, finito, I have been Gold Fish free for one glorious week!
I was given the option to take this week off from treatment and seized the day! My lung radiation treatments will begin on June 4th. It was decided I would do 10 rounds at a lower dose because the tumor is close to my heart and stomach so a more gentle approach will be better.
"Miracles Happen when the children of God "work together" Guided by the Spirit to reach out to others in need." - Reyna Aburto
I want to share some of the Miracles that you all have been responsible for whether directly through your actions or by your prayers. You need to know how powerful you all have been!
First one of my favorites...
It is almost impossible to surprise me, I don't know how but I always seem to find out surprises. Well for the first time I was surprised BIG time with one of the BEST Surprises of my life. A little back story:
Almost 4 years ago I was teaching a Ballet class in studio 2. We were at the ballet barre when this magical being walked into the studio, she was so tiny and wearing the fiercest outfit complete with sunglasses. She did not just walk into the studio, she strutted! I actually walked out of my class, I had to meet her! It was instant love! Our souls connected, like we had been waiting for each other! That was just the start, I met her Mother, instant connect, met her little brother, felt as if I had known him, met her Father, same thing! Needless to say I can't express how special this family is to me! Last summer they had to make a move to Atlanta, it was devastating to have them go but I knew in my heart it was the right move for them. They came for a visit in the fall, we have written letters, face-timed, texted etc. It has been hard, but I have still felt them so close. Now fast forward to me attending the last Dance competition of the season in Dallas. We arrived at the Hotel really late, I think around 11:30pm. We pulled up and I could see one of the parents of my Mini dancers (Ages 6-8) And I was mad that the kids might still be up, but turns out she was just there to capture the surprise, all the babies were asleep! Those babies had to compete in the morning and should not be up! We walked in and I saw 2 signs with 2 tiny pairs of feet underneath them. I couldn't read the sign very well but I made out the word ATLANTA!!! I lost it, the ugly cry right then and there!!! My special family had driven all the way from Atlanta to be with us for the weekend! Those days were like Heaven on Earth! BEST Surprise EVER!!!!
If you want to learn more about this amazing family check them out on Trendablekids on Insta and Facebook! Their amazing mother is the designer behind their amazing couture!
My white party.....
For this one of the members of my Dream team, remember the magical Unicorn that is Kate Karren, the one who organized all of my cancer support from the beginning....well she has not stopped / slowed down in the slightest. After she helped me plan out my Life Celebration (FYI I am not having a funeral my life is to be celebrated!) Which you all are invited to, date TBA ;) Kate decided that I needed a preview, so she set to work. Walking into that room filled with Beautiful humans all dressed in white! So many, I am still finding out who was there, it is incredible! The performances were something I will always treasure, the LOVE that was felt was the greatest gift I could have ever received!
Here is a link to the 360 degree video of the event.
The dance community...
I have always known that I was a part of something special being a dancer but this has been unbelievable! My own studio has done soooo much, Dance-a-thons, master classes, Silent Auctions, T-shirt sales, epic bake sales, the list goes on and on how they have raised money for my family and supported us in so many ways!! But studios across the country, they have raised money, sent gifts, flowers, beautiful cards of love and support! I even got an edible arrangement from one of the competitions we attend, it sounds silly but I have always wanted to get one of those, I was ecstatic! Then last night another HUGE Surprise...as many of you know I am a Hope story for Dancers Against Cancer. An incredible organization that helps dancers, teachers, and and their families fight cancer both financially and emotionally. They have been amazing, it has been an absolute honor to be apart of the DAC family! Over this journey the Executive administrator of DAC, Michelle Colon Tijerina have become quite close. Last night she flew into surprise me with a VERY generous financial assistance for my treatments. But the best part was seeing her and getting to hug and love on her!!!! I love my DAC family!
Friends, family, community.....
The outpouring of support and help has been unbelievable! From the bracelets and t-shirts that the dream team did, to the Kendra Scott fundraiser, gift card tree, special gifts from the heart, cards, flowers, the GoFundMe, the amazing meals brought in, the service and labor that went into getting my home ready for the graduation party, all of this was never anything I would ask for but so humbled and full of gratitude for these tremendous blessings!!
The Dream team and Round Rock High School stepped up big time on this one. Alexia's graduation class was HUGE, graduation was 3 hours! But the school went above and beyond to make sure that my family and I were in a very comfortable suite and had everything we needed for me to be able to attend. Shout out to the BEST principal I have ever come across Matt Groff! Then the dream team put on the most INCREDIBLE Wedding, I mean graduation party, I have ever seen!! Every detail was perfection, they managed to make it absolutely perfect for Alexia! The best part was watching her enjoy every minute of it!
Since May 4th it has been a steady stream of re-connections and my heart exploding with joy over being with my favorite Humans! From old high school friends, to my entire family coming for graduation, and currently my childhood through adulthood besties are here, The love and the laughs have been Non-stop!
So about a month ago I decided I wanted to do a dance to a song from Pink that has been very special to me throughout treatments. I wasn't sure when I would perform but I knew it was something I needed to do. As each day went by I got weaker and weaker. There were days I needed assistance to walk. I was so dizzy and disoriented I could not balance. The days slipped by and I was not sure I would regain any strength to dance. But still I was determined. I decided I would do it as a surprise at our end of year show for the dance company. Which also happened to fall on the same day I started the new rounds of Lung radiation. Due to the side effects of treatment I was completely unable to choreograph anything or even really attempt to dance to see if I even could. As I have mentioned before my body is numb, I don't feel my muscles. I feel them shake and I know that they are weak. But I went forward with faith! I walked on that stage having no clue what I was about to do, in dance we call that improv. Improv is raw, exposing, vulnerable, and powerful! The music started and I started moving, somethings worked out, some didn't. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get my body to leap. I have taught dancers how to leap for 27 years, it is one of my favorite things to do because it feels like flying! As I saw the video for the first time the perfectionist Ballerina in me was horrified, but then I realized this was a representation of my parallel world that I am living in. Heaven - I should not be able to dance at all but my spirit is so strong and was able to take over my body so that I could feel the joy of dancing again. Earth - My body is just a shell at this point, weak and unable to execute the movements, the failed leaps show that right now its going through something really hard, and it is not giving up!
How am I........
For those whose hearts are breaking over this please know mine is not! My journey has been so Epic, this ending has been the most incredible gift from God! Life does not end with death, I do not feel like my journey is ending at all! I have complete peace, and I am NOT, I repeat, I am NOT suffering in the slightest! I urge you that if you are in pain, if you are struggling with anything no matter how small, reach out and reach up! God will hear you, He will send Angels both in heaven and here on earth to attend to you! He loves you, I love you! Remember to find the Joy today, its out there, I promise!
30 Sec. Dance Party Enjoy!
My name is Michelle Kaley but I have many other names.....Daughter, Sister, Wife of 20 years to my High School Sweetheart, Mom to my 4 Beautiful Children, Ms. Michelle to my hundreds of Students, and as of 2016 Cancer Patient was added to the list.